


Evidence in the case of Cecil vs The Rest of the Egos on the crime of spoiling Wilford

by intricate_glass_box



Series: the corner of the multiverse that features Cecil [5]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Gen, brief use of a gun (no one endangered), domestic logistics, for the record Cecil does indeed spoil Wilford, irresponsible baking, late night tv, she/her Yandereplier, they/them Darkiplier, this fanfic comes with a recipe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24167056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intricate_glass_box/pseuds/intricate_glass_box
Summary: Cecil is accused by the other egos of favoring Wilford. …Admittedly, they’ve got a lot of evidence to back it up.
Relationships: Wilford & Cecil
Series: the corner of the multiverse that features Cecil [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606939
Kudos: 5





	Evidence in the case of Cecil vs The Rest of the Egos on the crime of spoiling Wilford

**Author's Note:**

> guys. I have a confession to make. I love Wilford. As a result I would let him get away with anything short of murder. This is a character flaw I have passed onto Cecil. 
> 
> I have tentatively named E-plier/Eboy Mark “Mac Eplier” b/c he can’t be named Mark since Actor’s name is Mark. “Mac” was a good friend’s suggestion.
> 
> I don’t have much practice writing for any of the other egos so sorry if OOC; part of this was forcing myself to practice a little with them. xD

“You spoil him.” 

“Wh—! I do nice things for him. That doesn’t mean I spoil him!”

“I don’t think you’ve ever once told him ‘no.’”

Cecil tried to think of a counterexample. It took a bit but, no, there was one. “Wrong! There was that one time, with the popcorn maker.” 

The others snickered. “You’ve never _willingly_ told him no.” 

“He deserves nice things,” Cecil insisted. 

“You still spoil him.”

* * *

* * *

“What’s for dinner tonight?” asked King, walking into the room where Bim and Wilford were discussing network business. 

Bim glanced at his wristwatch. “I don’t know; who’s cooking tonight? And shouldn’t they be in the kitchen already?” 

“Well I don’t know; I never keep track,” Wilford said with a shrug. 

Bim and King were quiet for a second, both realizing the likely problem. Bim pulled out his phone and dialed Cecil, who handled the dinner schedule. “Hey, Cecil?”

“Yeah, Bim, what is it? Wait, I think I can hear you, actually, where are you?” 

“The dining room with the big windows. I called to ask, who’s got dinner tonight?” 

Footsteps approached. Over the phone and through the doorway, they heard: “Why do I bother posting the schedule if nobody reads it? It’s Wilford tonight.” 

Wilford stopped fiddling with his pencil, eyes widening as he looked with some guilt at the other two in the room.

“Yeah, okay, that’s why I asked. That’s news to him too.” 

“Look, look. It’s fine! I’ll go do it now; it won’t be a big deal,” Wil said, getting up just as Cecil entered the room. 

They put their hands on their hips, regarding him. “You forgot again?” 

“Well, maybe, but I’m going to go to it now! Dinner’ll be ready iiinnnn…. uh, Cecil, what am I… making tonight?” 

“That’s not my job to keep track of after the menu goes out.” 

King made an annoyed noise. “I’ve got business after dinner! I won’t be able to stay to eat if it’s late again.” 

“Your squirrels can wait,” Wilford argued. 

“(1) rude, (2) that’s besides the point. You’re the only one who does this, and it isn’t fair to the rest of us who pull our weight.” 

Wilford looked hurt, and sounded defensive when he repeated, “I forgot!”

“Wilford,” Cecil cut in, not wanting to let the argument escalate. “If this was the first time, I wouldn’t say anything, but you really do need to keep track of when it’s your turn to cook.” 

He turned to Cecil, his hurt expression becoming a pout, which turned Cecil’s heart immediately to putty. This was predictable enough that Bim and King exchanged a somewhat exasperated look. But granted, everyone knew Wilford’s memory was legitimately terrible. Cecil’d lived in the manor for about a year before the last time he forgot their name. Most egos didn’t know why, but Cecil had gotten the gist of it from working closely with Dark, so they were particularly sympathetic. 

And also he was looking at them with big eyes and a sad frown and they were rendered physically unable to reprimand him again. “… I know. You forgot. It happens. I can come help you cook; if we go now we can probably get it done right about on time.”

“Bully! Thank you, Cecil. See, King, Bim? It’s fine.” 

“…Later I’ll help you set up reminders on your phone for your day to cook,” Cecil said, rolling their eyes.

* * *

About once a month, Cecil went to the small city closest to Darkiplier Manor to do some shopping for anything not found at the grocery store in the town closer to them. Typically, they went alone and just offered to pick up things for the rest of the egos, and today was one such typical day. They shot off a quick text to the manor group chat to see if anyone needed something that wasn’t already on their list. 

`_Cecil:_ hey guys I’m going shopping tomorrow any special requests `

Immediately, they got a few pings in quick succession. 

`_Google:_ Nothing from me. `

`_Yan:_ we’re out of bleach again `

`_Bing:_ oh bro good timing!! if it’s cool w you can you pick up my custom order from the skate shop? `

As they were typing a reply to the group, they got a text in their personal thread to Eric, as well. 

`_Eric:_ is tomorrow grocery day too? if so can you please get some of those crackers I like? `

`_Cecil:_ yeah! no problem. added ‘em to the list`

`_Eric:_ thanks Cecil `😊

And to the group:

`_Cecil:_ okay! and yeah Bing no problem, just fwd me your order confirmation. Yan, hair bleach or cleaning bleach?`

`_Yan:_ …you know, both actually`

`_Dark:_ I presume you already checked the office supplies?`

`_Cecil:_ Sure did. `

`_Mac:_ theres this lighting kit that’s getting popular`

`_Mac:_ it’d be great for my videos`

`_Mac:_ can you check for it?`

`_Mac:_ I can dm you the link `

A link appeared on Cecil’s screen, sent to their personal thread. The kit was sold out online, explaining why he wanted them to look in-person. It was also clearly overpriced… placing it on the side of too-expensive for Cecil to want to work it into the budget during the most expensive week of the month.

`_Cecil:_ if you’ve got the money I can check for you but that’s kind of expensive on short notice `

Mac Eplier was the newest ego living in the manor and hadn’t taken a job when he moved in, instead focusing on building a Tik Tok following, as one apparently does, and could potentially be monetized eventually…? Cecil didn’t know, and either way it was fine, but as a result he probably didn’t have the money yet to be investing in overpriced viral lighting kits. 

(The belated reply from Dark, who wasn’t known for being glued to their phone, also came in. )

` _Dark:_ Then nothing from me. `

`_Mac:_ rip ok nvm `

`_Cecil:_ sorry. 😞 `

`_Wilford:_ I actually found this LOVELY little thing, here, look `

`_Wilford:_ {link} `

`_Wilford:_ can we get it for the manor? it would be so fun on movie nights `

Oh god. Cecil immediately knew they’d backed themself into a corner. Their immediate reaction with Wil was “sure, of course!” as long as it wasn’t harmful, but they couldn’t approve Wilford for something frivolous after denying Mac for something he had a plausible reason for needing. They clicked the link; it was a novelty popcorn maker, the kind styled like a pushcart. The thing was huge, and would easily make enough popcorn for the whole house in one go rather than like ten rounds in the microwave, and it was really cute, with a little bit of old fashioned charm despite being mass-produced. They really did do movie nights enough to make it worth it… _’No, Cecil, stay strong. NO,’_ they told themself. It was more than _twice_ as expensive as the lighting kit. And Wilford _had_ a job. He could order it himself if he wanted it!

Another ping. 

`_Wilford:_ ppplllleeeeeeaaaaaaaaseeeeeeee `

Cecil wheezed, agonized. They had to tell Wilford no.

_BUT AT WHAT COST._

Instead of doing that, they stared at the phone for long enough that another text came in. 

` _Yan:_ Cecil this is a callout I know what you’re thinking `

Cecil felt themself blush. How dare she insinuate that Cecil wasn’t capable of rational decisions when it came to Wilford! ~~How dare she be right!~~

` _Cecil:_ I don’t know what you’re talking about, Yan`

`_Cecil:_ Wilford, I’m sorry but I already turned Mac down and the popcorn maker is even more expensive. we’ve been faring just fine with the microwave!`

`_Wilford:_ :( `

Cecil, anguished, threw the link in a document titled “Christmas.”

* * *

Cecil, Wilford, Eric, and Yan had been watching TV together, most recently some cooking challenge show. It was getting late, and it was a weekday, so after an episode ended Cecil declared, “Alright, we should probably head to bed,” and reached for the remote to turn off the TV.

Wilford stopped them. “Cecil, wait, there’s another episode on next!” 

Cecil regarded the TV, which was imploring them ‘Don’t go away!’ and showing a sneak peak at some challenge involving icing and… face masks…?

“I’ve got work in the morning. So do you, actually, and Eric, and Yan has class.” 

“It’s not that late,” Yan said, tapping on her laptop. “I didn’t plan on going to bed yet anyway; I would stay for another episode.” 

“Yeah, see, Cecil? Live a little. Let’s stay up and watch another.” There was mischief in Wilford’s eyes. And also Cecil really wanted to know what the fuck this icing thing was. 

“…Yeah, okay, okay.” 

Eric made a little sound. Cecil and Wilford turned to him. “What’s up, Eric?” 

“W-would… well… is it okay if— if I, if I go to bed now?” 

“Yeah, o’course, honey. Don’t let Wil talk you into making a bad decision, too.” 

(“Oh, come now,” Wilford protested, rolling his eyes. “All my ideas are great.”)

Eric wasn’t sure how he should react, and cut himself off from a chuckle. “Okay.” 

“Sleep well, Eric,” Cecil called as he left the room. 

“T-thanks, you— you too.” 

So Yan, Wilford, and Cecil stayed up stupidly late watching increasingly weird reality TV.

* * *

There was a gunshot, and a loud shattering, audible from the office. 

“…What was that?” Cecil remarked to Dark, despite having a feeling they knew exactly what it was — or at least who it was. 

“…I don’t know.” Dark replied, guarded. 

Cecil got up, poking their head out of the office just in time to hear Dr. Iplier yell “What the hell, Wilford?” 

“Oh fuck,” they cursed. “Should we go investigate?” 

Dark sighed, irritated. “Fine.” 

—

Dark and Cecil walked hastily downstairs, towards the source of the noise and where now an argument between Dr. Iplier and Wilford seemed to be taking place. The room had glass shattered all over the floor, and Cecil looked up to see that the window which formerly functioned as a sun light along the top of the wall, was gone — or, rather, shattered; jagged edges still lined the frame. 

Wilford looked at the newcomers. He was still holding the gun, leaving no doubts as to what had happened. “Ah, Cecil, Dark. Lunchtime already?” he asked. There were also pieces of glass in his hair. 

“No, Wilford, we’re investigating the _gunshot_ ,” Darkiplier corrected. “Did you shoot out the window?”

“Well,” Wilford drawled, breaking eye contact. “I was just testing out my new gun with a little target practice!” 

“In the house?! Someone could’ve gotten hurt!” Cecil admonished at the same time Dr. Iplier said, “You can’t do that in the house.”

Wilford pouted, looking between those assembled with more indignation than guilt. “I’m sorry,” he offered, like trying a key to see if it’d fit.

“We’ll have to get this replaced, Wilford, which’ll be expensive — and more importantly, you should know it’s a bad idea to bring outsiders to the manor,” Darkiplier told him. 

Well, the simple apology hadn’t worked. And Dark raised valid points, so he wasn’t going to get anywhere with them. He dialed his pout up to 11, a veritable puppy-dog face, and looked at Cecil. “I didn’t mean to hit the window,” he said. “And I’ll go outside now!” 

They tried to resist. Really, they did. Their resolve lasted for maybe 0.2 seconds. “…It’s okay, Wil. Just, really, you can’t keep doing this in the house. Just because it was only a window this time…”

“I know! I won’t! I promise!” Wilford said, cutting them off, taking this as close enough to be off the hook and heading towards the exit. “Right, so I’ll go outside now!” He slipped away, presumably headed off onto the property to do some more shooting. 

Dark sighed. “Cecil, can you make some time this afternoon to find someone suitable to replace the window?” 

They nodded.

“What about the shattered glass all over the room?” Dr. Iplier asked, presumably because the bulk of it was blocking the way to his office. 

“Fuck. Wilford should’ve cleaned that up. But we can’t really leave it until he gets back, can we?” Cecil sighed, turning to head towards the cabinet where the broom was kept.

* * *

Wilford sauntered into the room, placing his chin on Cecil’s shoulder, paying no regard to the fact that they had been doing something on their laptop (which they blanked, b/c c’mon Wil, you can’t just go looking at people’s laptop screens, that’s so rude). “Don’t we have ANY sweets in the house?” he said. 

Cecil leaned, attempting to look towards him but unable to get very far lest they slam their faces together. “Not really. I don’t go shopping until tomorrow and certain egos — not naming any names — eat a whole lot of sweets.” 

“Hmmm, I guess you’re right; King does eat a lot of cookies. But there’s gotta be _some_ thing treatlike, isn’t there?” 

Cecil made the mistake of thinking about the chocolate chips among their baking supplies. 

Wilford hopped up, moving around the couch to face Cecil. “Chocolate chips would be perfect!” 

“Hey— Wilford—”

“—I know, I know, they’re for baking,” Wilford huffed. 

That, while true, was not what Cecil was going to say. They were going to yell at him for reading their thoughts, something he knew they hated. 

“…Oh.” 

Cecil gave him an exasperated look, turning back to their computer. 

“Waaait, Cecil, c’mon! We could bake something.” 

“It’s almost dinner.” 

Wilford gasped, visibly excited. “We could make cookie dough!” 

Cecil paused, blinked, considering it. Cookie dough is delicious. And they were pretty good at whipping up a single (or shared) serving. But, no, really, it was almost dinner and Cecil shouldn’t go out of their way to make sweets when they would be restocking at the store tomorrow.

But Wilford was smiling expectantly. And cookie dough sounded really good. And if they split a single serving…

“Fine! Let’s go!” they agreed, begrudgingly closing the laptop and placing it on the coffeetable. 

Roughly four spoons of white and brown sugars each, maybe two spoons of butter but really you just wing it to get the consistency right, one spoon of applesauce, a heavy-handed splash of high quality vanilla, and maybe four spoons of flour but again you just wing it until the consistency is right, chocolate chips to your personal preference — which, in the case of Cecil and Wilford, was just dumping a perhaps-excessive amount into the bowl — and then 30 microwave seconds later, Cecil handed a spoon to Wilford and passed him a glass of milk. “Voila. Enjoy.” 

They dug in there in the smaller kitchen, eating enthusiastically. It, like most nontraditionally procured sweets, was delicious, and soon was gone, along with the milk. 

“That was so good,” Cecil sighed. 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I made it!” 

“But it was my idea,” Wilford insisted. Cecil laughed and turned to clean up the dish and cups. 

A few minutes later, Eric poked his head around the corner. “H-hey, just uh, just letting you know dinner’s ready! Er, Dark sent me to let you know,” he said. 

It had been Dark’s turn to cook, so it made sense that they’d send someone else to round up the house — though, less sense than just using the group text, but nonetheless. 

“Okay, thanks Eric!” Cecil called, and the boy nodded and left again. Then, they looked to Wil, a bit guiltily. “Are you, uhhhh, are you hungry anymore, Wil…?” 

Wil did not look guilty. “Nope.” 

“Auuuugh, look what you made me do,” Cecil admonished fondly. “C’mon, we should still go down. We oughta eat some real food… even if it’s in the wrong order.” 

“Maybe Dark made dessert too.” 

They giggled their way down to the dining room.

* * *

* * *

“Alright, alright, so maybe you’ve picked a few examples of times I may have been a little soft for him. I don’t think that means anything,” Cecil insisted. 

But then, Darkiplier walked in. 

“Dark! Does Cecil spoil Wilford?” 

Dark looked at Cecil, amusement in their eyes. “Well of course. Are you telling me they’re denying that?” 

Cecil threw their hands in the air with an anguished expression. If not even Dark was on their side, they were defeated.

**Author's Note:**

> Yea that’s a functional recipe, at least kind of — all the measurements are very loose; I just follow my heart and use whatever spoon-like object I am vibing with when the mood hits. Pro tips: If you add too much flour, try a splash of milk instead of adding more of any of the other ingredients so it doesn’t turn into an arms race. No, it’s not technically safe to eat raw, because they tell you not to eat raw flour, but I cannot die and do not believe in “salmonella.” Proceed at your own risk, though. You can always microwave it until it becomes a cookie but I recommend smaller amounts if you do that. You also don’t have to microwave it if you don’t want melty chips. Also strong recommend going light-handed on the butter and adding a scoop of PB, esp. if you don’t have chocolate chips around. This recipe is both a blessing and a curse. Enjoy your powers. 
> 
> …fun facts, the scene/concept I had in mind that inspired this whole fic didn’t make it in the final version
> 
> lastly Wilford’s name in Cecil’s phone is “Wilf 💖✨” just thought you should know


End file.
